Fear – Face Your Fears

FEAR
I had a deep conversation with my friend a few days ago. It was one of those conversations where we were talking about a television show then it turned to a deep /emotional conversation. We talked about death, including the death of my Father. He had never asked me about this topic before when we were teenagers, bearing in mind this event occurred nearly 20 years ago.

It was quite amazing how we discussed if certain events did not happen in the past including the death of my Father as a teenager, how life is like sliding doors. Certain choices or situations in life take you down a different path and if that event did not happen how different life would turn out.

So, what has this got to do with fear?
The death of my Father impacted me more than I realised. I used to fear dying, I used to fear to care about someone and they could die. I used to fear being loved. I don’t fear these things now but when I think about it, it did affect how I treated other people and expected to be treated. I may not have these fears now but I do have fears. Sometimes I do not actually understand what I am fearful about. When I look inwards, I think what is the big deal. But fear can be paralysing. I still work through my fears as it is an ongoing self-esteem issue for me. You do realise self-esteem is not just about body image, it is about more than that.
Things I think in my head are: What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if nobody likes it? What if people know about it? What if……

Over the year’s people have told me ‘I don’t think you are the type of person that can just sit in an office 9-5 and that is it. I see you having your own business. Friends have told me this and continue to tell me this, even Pastors have said these things to me. But what do I do about it? I talk myself out of it, it sounds ridiculous as I type this. But this is the reality of life and why a lot of people feel they have not become the people they are supposed to be. That is why the Bible says the truth will set you free. I have had ideas in my head which have been there for over 10 years now!
As I work through my fears and start my journey of doing things I have kept hidden away for years, I tell others not to be like me. Research the idea you have in your mind, do something about it. Don’t hide, don’t wait … act. Because all that will happen is regret. You will be thinking I should be doing more, the reason you will be thinking this is because you refuse to face your fear. It’s never too late!

Tips I am using to face my fears
 Ask for help from friends & family. Asking for help can be a problem in our minds, it does not make you less strong to ask for help.
 Talk about your fears and your dreams to people you trust. Sometimes all we just need is some encouragement.
 Don’t keep your fears inside otherwise it just stays there. Write it down and address them.
 Take a time out from your routine. Do something you want to do 100% for yourself.
 Negative thoughts that come in your head counteract them with positive thoughts
 Pray – Ask God to help you
 Plan and give yourself some deadlines
 Save positive quotes and immerse yourself in them
 Get a notebook write down your ideas
 The little things you may stop yourself doing because of fear, start doing them. For example, you don’t want to go swimming on your own, go on your own. You want to go to Westfields but there is no one to go with, go on your own. You want to learn a new language? Sign up and just do it.

I am taking my own advice and just doing it. I will be updating my journey. Are you going to do anything about your fears

  

 

Get to know me- 10 things about me

I attempted to start my blog about a year ago. But due to a series of difficult situations, my focus could not be on this blog.I’m relaunching my blog and making it more of a lifestyle blog.
I have some interesting things coming up this year. So I thought I would let you get to know me a little. Here we go:

1. I’m Nigerian. I was born in London, UK and visit Nigeria loads. I love that country as crazy as it can be. Nigeria is such a beautiful country, these are the parts they never show on TV.

2. I’m married. To a lovely Man who I love more than ever. He’s Nigerian too. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot.

3. I’m a Christian. I go to a lovely small church I’ve been a member there for about 4 years now. I believe in God and my faith has had such an amazing impact on my life.

4. I have a degree in Marketing & Advertising. I work in the Marketing and communications industry and currently thinking about a career change.

5. I have always wanted to live in another country but not sure which one yet.

6. I want to learn another language but I think I’m too old to learn. Of course I’m not but that’s what I have been telling myself. What an excuse. So I hope to start soon.

7. I love renovation, interior design, events and just planning. Something I do as a hobby that one day I may turn into a business.

8. I have lived in London my whole life and have been ready for a change. So I’m looking forward to moving out of London. The change will be big but I cannot wait.

9. I am on a fitness and lifestyle change and it is very difficult! But I will get there.

10. I’m a shopaholic. Aren’t most Women? Something I need to curb this year.

So that’s it. Hope you have gotten a little insight about me. Now I have told me abit about me, you can say hello 🙂

The secret to my skincare routine

 

My skincare secrets

The secret to my skincare routine is I don’t really have one. I do not go over the top and I listen to my skin. I think the best thing I did for my face was never to use shower gel products to wash my face when I was growing up till now. I remember overhearing a conversation my Mum was having with her friends; she was advising them not to use shower gel or soap on their face. I must have been about 12 or 13 because I started to buy ‘simple’ face wash at 16, which was when I got my first job.

I am very careful with the type of products I use on my face. I have to make sure there is not too much alcohol in my face cream. I don’t know which particular ingredient my face reacts to. Sometimes I can just smell a moisturiser and know straight that I am going to react to it. I have used some face creams and as soon as the product touches my face I know my skin is about to react, and it’s too late. The reaction I get are big welts on my face, so not a good look.

My skin

My skin is very sensitive. I think I have dry skin but I have recently been told by a dermatologist that apparently I have combination skin. I still buy moisturisers for extra dry skin, because I like the thickness of the cream. I often get comments even from strangers that my skin is bright and clear. As I get older I have been able to appreciate my skin and realise it is in good condition. It can always be better and I ensure I do not take it for granted.

My current skincare regime

I do not cleanse, moisturise and tone. Mainly because toners I have tried have got too much alcohol in them for my skin. And I just don’t feel I need to tone.

Morning

B Pure Sensitive Micellar Wipes

B Pure Micellar Water

Ole Henriksen Truth Serum

Vichy Aqualia Thermal Rich Cream

Night

B Pure Sensitive Micellar Wipes

B Pure Micellar Water

Body Shop Vitamin E Night Cream (New product I am trying)

 

I thought I had to stick to the same brand all the time but realised that I don’t have to. I can mix and match products just as long as my skin agrees with the ingredients. Sometimes I like a moisturiser of a brand and not particularly want the serum. So that’s what I do.

Moisturisers

I have tried a lot of face moisturisers and figured out the products that do not work for me. I am a product junkie and I have tried to stop buying a variety of moisturisers for no reason.

I used to think that expensive products mean it was the best product for my skin. But it’s not true because not all expensive products agree with my skin.

My current favourite moisturiser is Vichy Aquaila Thermal. I love the thickness of this moisturiser. It just glides on my skin; I feel the cream sink into my skin. My face feels so soft and smooth with this moisturiser. The French really know how to make creams for sensitive skin. I say this as I have bought quite a few moisturisers that are made in France that I love such as La Roche Posay, Avenue and this being another great one. The next best thing about his product is that it is not expensive! The Vichy Aquaila Thermal moisturiser you can buy on some websites from £12 to £15 – yes £12! Especially when certain websites have sales.

What results have you seen? My skin feels smoother and hydrated with no dry patches.

Is it worth it? Yes, go and buy it!

I will be posting a review soon of the Vichy Aqualia Thermal serum, one of the best serums ever.

Have you tried any product from the Vichy range? What skincare products are you currently enjoying?

Here are a few online stores that have good deals on beauty products and where I purchase my moisturisers from:

www.feelunique.com  Use this code: http://referme.to/w8Ebfjo and get 15% off your first order.

www.escentual.com

 

A letter to myself

 

As it’s still the start of the new year, instead of writing about my plans and goals for 2017, I would kick off the year by writing a letter to myself. I actually think you need to speak to yourself and tell yourself things that nobody else will tell you. So here goes:

Dear Chi-Chi,

Keep smiling through everything even when the road is tough. You have a beautiful smile.

Do not let situations in life define you, positive or negative. Hold on to the good things, achievements, memories and let them help you to press on. I want you to remember the past is in the past. Whatever mistakes you have made, forgive yourself. Do not let anybody use your past against you. Past mistakes in life are one of our biggest tools we can use to excel.

You know who you are and what you want in life. All you have to do is to go out and get it! Do not underestimate yourself. You are nearly there, so press on. 2016 is a small example of you setting your mind to certain goals and achieving them.

Let people bask in your happiness, there is nothing wrong with being happy.Keep loving the way you love and make no apologies for who you are.

Do not worry, Dad is watching down from heaven and proud of the young woman you grew up to be.

Love from,
Chi-Chi

This actually feels like therapy. I loved writing this letter to myself. I put a pen to paper and could have written more and more. I realise that sometimes we can wait for people to tell us how valued we are and how good we are. At work, at home by our other halves, by family members. We could simply value ourselves more even if nobody else tells us they value us.

Why don’t you write a letter to yourself? What do you want to let yourself know? What would you say?

Feel the fear and do it anyway

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What does this actually mean?


Fear is deliberating, it holds us back from dreams, goals and things we are meant to do which we have not realised it basically holds us back.If we didn’t have any fear imagine what we would do. It’s all in the mind. I’m scared of spiders to the point of running away from them, but this different. We can’t spend our lives living in fear of certain things and running from them.
In the past I have been fearful of a number of things like, applying for jobs, wondering what people will say, going to interviews, going to a gym class, buying a new car, leaving a job, being alone, fearful of the future, fearful of doctors and the list goes on which does sound ridiculous. But it is understandable because we can build up negativity in our minds. However, things always sort its self out, we have no reason to fear.

Through life experiences, I am so glad I know this now. I’m beginning to live it and change my perception of things. The way I process issues and fears.
Doing it anyway is courage. Sometimes it is difficult to be courageous. What do you do? Who do you turn to? We just have to do it whatever it is that is the action.


I have realised to be expectant and not to settle. I have met people that do not know me very well and tell me I should be doing certain things that are amazing to me. Sometimes things beyond my imagination. I have decided not to limit myself. How?


1. I surround myself with positive people. Luckily my husband is my biggest support system. I also go to a great church surrounded by positive people
2. My siblings are real go-getters. My Brother is a positive person no matter what he is going through he pushes me
3. I read books to change my mindset
4. I pray
5. When negative thoughts come into my head I speak positive words over theses thoughts
6. I have a plan of where I want to be in a few years’ time
7. I practice the law of attraction (will discuss in my next blog)
8. Things that I am nervous about I try to push myself to do it
These are just practical things I currently do.

If we want change and want to be fearless we have to change. It has to come from you nobody else.
Faith is the opposite of fear. I know being a Christian has helped me build my self-belief.
You just have to speak over your life and say I will not fear. Start today stop wasting time being limited by fear.

 

What are you going to do this week that  you have been scared to do?

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