I had a deep conversation with my friend a few days ago. It was one of those conversations where we were talking about a television show then it turned to a deep /emotional conversation. We talked about death, including the death of my Father. He had never asked me about this topic before when we were teenagers, bearing in mind this event occurred nearly 20 years ago.
It was quite amazing how we discussed if certain events did not happen in the past including the death of my Father as a teenager, how life is like sliding doors. Certain choices or situations in life take you down a different path and if that event did not happen how different life would turn out.
So, what has this got to do with fear?
The death of my Father impacted me more than I realised. I used to fear dying, I used to fear to care about someone and they could die. I used to fear being loved. I don’t fear these things now but when I think about it, it did affect how I treated other people and expected to be treated. I may not have these fears now but I do have fears. Sometimes I do not actually understand what I am fearful about. When I look inwards, I think what is the big deal. But fear can be paralysing. I still work through my fears as it is an ongoing self-esteem issue for me. You do realise self-esteem is not just about body image, it is about more than that.
Things I think in my head are: What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if nobody likes it? What if people know about it? What if……
Over the year’s people have told me ‘I don’t think you are the type of person that can just sit in an office 9-5 and that is it. I see you having your own business. Friends have told me this and continue to tell me this, even Pastors have said these things to me. But what do I do about it? I talk myself out of it, it sounds ridiculous as I type this. But this is the reality of life and why a lot of people feel they have not become the people they are supposed to be. That is why the Bible says the truth will set you free. I have had ideas in my head which have been there for over 10 years now!
As I work through my fears and start my journey of doing things I have kept hidden away for years, I tell others not to be like me. Research the idea you have in your mind, do something about it. Don’t hide, don’t wait … act. Because all that will happen is regret. You will be thinking I should be doing more, the reason you will be thinking this is because you refuse to face your fear. It’s never too late!
Tips I am using to face my fears
Ask for help from friends & family. Asking for help can be a problem in our minds, it does not make you less strong to ask for help.
Talk about your fears and your dreams to people you trust. Sometimes all we just need is some encouragement.
Don’t keep your fears inside otherwise it just stays there. Write it down and address them.
Take a time out from your routine. Do something you want to do 100% for yourself.
Negative thoughts that come in your head counteract them with positive thoughts
Pray – Ask God to help you
Plan and give yourself some deadlines
Save positive quotes and immerse yourself in them
Get a notebook write down your ideas
The little things you may stop yourself doing because of fear, start doing them. For example, you don’t want to go swimming on your own, go on your own. You want to go to Westfields but there is no one to go with, go on your own. You want to learn a new language? Sign up and just do it.
I am taking my own advice and just doing it. I will be updating my journey. Are you going to do anything about your fears